Money

I've been very upset all this while. My biggest problem is MONEY!

I need money money money!!!!!!!!

Without money , I can't eat outside food, I can't go shopping and now is the mega sales season! And I can't spend wheni go Taiwan!!!!!!

I really really need money!!!!!!

There's not even a single cent left in my pocket!

:>o<:

I need a job..
I need to get paid..
Not that I did not go and find, just that nobody wants to hire me.. T.T

Isn't it pathetic..
I asked the library for the student helper job but they said they had enough people..
I asked the education centre for the student helper part-time job and they said 'please eave your details and we will call you later.........'
The application for the college open day student helper is all filled......

....................

Well..
Of course there's still other place to ask BUT .....

I can try Sunway Pyramid.. BUT
How do I get there and how do I come back to the hostel?? It just sounds impossible.. In addition I don't get ANY SUPPORT to do this......

I can go and work in Subang Avenue, I heard their wage rate is quite high, but I also heard the workers need to work till late at night AND HOW DO I GET BACK HOME?????!!!!!
I need to walk back home alone!!!!!
My life will be at risk!! I can't do that!!!

So now what?

I desperately need money!!!!!!! T.T
Haih..
I really do wish there's a miracle and I get a nice job or a CORRECT way to earn money............
Please GOD.. Please help me..... I'm wishing for a solution and a miracle...... Thanks GOD.. AMEN.

Sometimes in the morning

I'm not sure if blogger's postin da right time for this post but i'm gonna write it down now.

It's 8th of Nov, monday and yes, it's 407 in the morning.

1more day and my roommate will be back soon and maybe that's the day i will have a cup of starbucks..

I'm pretty much in love with DARK MOCHA .

Anyways.

The last day i went to school was last wed and that's the pretty day that i had my maths paper6 exam.. love it..

And 2 more days which is this wed , i will have my very last paper, that is econs paper1, the paper that i fear the most, or should i say ' THE PAPER THAT I HATE THE MOST'.

I finished my past years and i was on the way finishing mr mohan's homework.
Sadly to say, halfway through the 200 multiple questions, i watched a movie instead.
After that movie i watched another movie and while waiting for the movie to buffer, i did do some of the multiple questions.

So, then, after the movie, i went to facebook.
All in a sudden i had the feeling of missin my classmates.
And all of the sudden, someone came to my mind : Tom.

So obviously i went to his account.
There's not much to look or i could say 'stalk' cuz i din add him.
His profile is quite private.
I know he has or had a girlfriend.
I heard they broke up and i oso heard that they were still as sweet as before.

Wateva..

So i went to the girlfriend's profile.
The girlfriend was good looking. Small sized. She's that kind of socialize girl that every guy will love to have a nice chat with her.

Ohya. and i learnt this word from her wall : DESPO .
Maybe that's 1 very ordinary word but seriously i love it! It's so cool.
DESPO DESPO DESPO DESPO DESPO DESPO...

XD
Anyways.
Then i clicked through her pictures and i came to realise that if u want to be ' in the gang ' seriously t-shirts and jeans are not goin to help you.

I mean not that you cant have t shirts and jeans in your cupboard.
What i meant was you need to be nicely dressed up, at least 4 times in a week. Then you can have your tshirts and jeans for the rest of your days.
Dressed up as in following the trend, not the latest one but at least something something..

The social trend is damn important!
Of course. being nicely dressed up but you hardly open your mouth , then fine, forget bout it, you're out!!
If you hardly talk, no one will EVER realise of your existence.

AND i just realised, i hardly have any of these two.
I don open my mouth often, i don even look at people, and i don dress up.
I have a sudden feeling of failure.. :(

You don expect te guy you like or admire to have 1 look at you if you don have those two, let alone that he will know your existence when he don even look at you.

Whooh...
I just realised i had always been living in my own world.
I'm always to myself only.
And i always say how much i don need more friends but yet, when i meet a new friend i could hardly keep the smile off my face.
That's the ironic part.
Izit because i'm Gemini??
Nah, i think that's just a pretty excuse to get rid of the blame.

I seriously need to work out.
When i saw the girlfriend's pictures, all the events she had with her friends , and when i saw christy's pictures and all the events she had and when i saw ' bla bla bla with bla bla bla and God knows what events they are into, i know , i know i have to make a move.
I seriously need to make a move!! I don care whatever it takes, i'm goin to make a move and become a successful woman!!!!!
That's the 2nd thind i need to deal wit hafter my wed's exam.
Right now, i have to concentrate on my econs and my personal statement which both enough to drive me crazy.
Okay, i think that is for today.

Smiles for myself :))))))) 4:49am

My situation

ARH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My only situation here is to stuff myself into one of the unis in UK !!

That particular random guy !

Ohhh and awwwww~~~~~~~~~~

I think i will never ever forget this , at least till now it's still quite fresh in my mind.

I dono about the others but i always have this craze for the ' white people ' , u know.. like those we used to watch in the movies.. XDD

They seemed so special to me.. They are the 'WOW's to me..
You know.. when u see 1 of those pple u will go 'wow~~~~~~'
for me is like that lar.. XDD

so imagine if 1 of these pple talk to me....... XD XD XD XD XD

so this is what happened

On 1 fine Monday afternoon , which was two days before today, i went out at around 2 to buy myself lunch.
No school so i wore shorts, a loose school t shirt and a pair of slippers.
When i walked back with a plastic bag full with breads in my hand, ( i'm meant from far ) , i saw two 'white guy' standing near the garden. ( i have to pass the garden to reach my apartment)

so as usual , i just walked past like what u and i will do to any strangers.
I din know what made me do that but when i walked behind them i just looked at them , it was so natural that i din even realise i react in that way.. XD

It's just like sometimes when you passed by some strangers you might just look at them for few seconds , maybe just to check and see who are they.

So,

when i walked past them,
and at that very particular moment when i looked at 1 of the guys ,
guess what ,
he turned back.....

just at that very particular moment... aww ~~~
hahaha

well
usually when u stare at pple and they looked back at you,
you feel awkward and will look the other way..

i couldn tell if he is really looking at me..
i just know he suddenly turned his whole body to the left facing his friend and also me.. (because at that moment i ngam ngam walked behind his fren)

at first i thought he turned cuz he wanted to talk to his fren but suddenly..
i heard he said 'hi'..
he looked at my direction ( which was also his fren's direction) and said hi.

and the next thing when i realised he started to talk to me like ' hey , how are you ? '
so i .. erm.. slow down my pace ( but still walking) and said 'hi and fine i'm thank you' to him.

seriously
i was stunned
i was shocked
i was NERVOUS!!!!!!

The wind was blowing at that moment and he spoke like an ant so i couldn really catch what he said.

But i heard him asking me ' so you back from school ? '
I wanted to say 'no i went to buy my lunch ' but all i could say was ' ohh yea..'

* slap myself ! slap myself ! *

then i think when i said 'yea' he gave me this ' are you lying?... oh fine ' look cuz he was staring at my plastic bag.
I seriously din look like anyone who just came back from school.. XDD

And 1 more thing...
i was too NERVOUS so when all these happened i din actually stopped and talked to him..
i just slowed down my pace..
so when i walked further away, he said something or rather mumbled something , but i couldn hear him.
so i just said 'okay, bye, see you.' , then walked away smiling all the way back home.

His look had blurred in my mind , all i could remember was what happened that day.

To tell the truth, i miss him.
I wish i had talk nicer to him and we might become frens!
Well, that's not goin to happen ANYWAY..

Actually when i refreshed the memory, i was wondering whether he was talking to me all this time.
Maybe he was really talking to his fren then i went 7+1 and talked to him so he had to talk to me........

This is hilarious, but yet a very adorable memory.
:)

Nothing beats a sincere prayer to GOD

Every night i will pray before i sleep, unless i'm so tired that i fall asleep without noticing.
I pray, because, i'm a Christian, and, i have to say my prayers before i sleep.
That, can actually be considered as a rule of mine before sleeping.

However, it is a shameful thing to say that ' i don always pray with a sincere heart'.

Sometimes, i just say my prayers quickly so that i can go to sleep earlier.

But, there's a saying that 'you'll only make 1 thing a success if u treat it and complete it with 1 sincere heart.'

So, after the previous post, i realised i had missed a lot of things in my life , and these 'sort of things' cannot be changed or asked again in the future . or even now. For example, the time.
ARH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How i wished i could scream up loud to the sky!!

I missed the precious time i had for my econs.
I could die just to have back that period of time.
But i know you know everyone knows that this is just NOT goin to happen.
And when i actually realised, ' oh hey! tomorrow's maths!'
Initially i had the feeling of giving up but then i slapped myself when i was taking my shower.
I CANT AFFORD TO SCREW UP ANYTHING ANYMORE!
I CANNOT AFFORD ANY TWINGE OF REGRET ANYMORE!
When i actually realised all these, i made up mind to aim for maths paper 6.
I cannot afford mistakes in paper 6.
After the whole day of doing maths, i actually felt numb to maths.

Today i had my maths paper 6.
Yesterday i did all the exercises and practices i could.
And before i slept, i read a part of bible and i prayed sincerely to GOD asking for his help.
I cannot afford any failures anymore.

This morning, when i got my question paper i could hardly believe that it was quite easy compared to the previous past year questions.
Easy as in i could answer most of the questions.
However , i screwed up question 6 and 7.
One of the reason was because i din understand the meaning of ' deviate' .
Overall i THINK i did well in this paper.
But who knows.
Sometimes when you are so sure of something it just doesnt result in what you expect and that is when it will lead a person to extreme disappoinment.

I don want this to happen to me!!
I never want that!!

GOD helps me.
I can believe in GOD.

That's my rule too.

So
this is the story:
my last paper will be econs paper1 .
Despite all the grudges, i will try all my best and put in extreme effort to study my econs.
I just cannot afford another failure.
It's never too late to do anything unless you never even tried!
I won give up!
That's the thing!!

whooh..
so
my previous wish do come true
i posted sth positive. :)

no topic

i just realised sth
i need friends
i seriously need friends

i hope when the next post comes i will show some improvement
and i'm posting something positive...

Here comes my new post after dono how many months

Well
i screwed up my econs.. seriously i screwed up my econs..
but yet.. i don feel anything..
i'm serious..
I DON FEEL ANYTHING..
that is wat freaks me out..

hey ng wenjie.. u screwed up your econs arh!! u know wat is the meaning of screwed up? means u will fail arh.. fail econs!!

but i don feel sad.. izit because i gave up??
i dono.. i dono wat's wrong with me..
i'm so worried but everything but yet i'm not making a move or taking any action to improve this situation..

why
why
why
why
why

i slapped myself almost every night to remind myself to wake up early the next morning.
but yet it's useless!!
there's actually no one to talk to cuz all they could and would say is 'don give up lar.. don be sad lar'
it's not doing any help AT ALL..
haih..
i felt so lifeless so aimless..
the books are all on my table but yet i'm not touching them..

i know
i know that everyone is now far ahead of me
everyone is well prepared
everyone is making their best effort to succeed
everyone is studying
everyone is moving on
but
i'm not!

I AM NOT!!

haih..
my head is empty
empty
empty

i dono y

i did so so much for law
i studied like crazy for law but once law is finished
i went '~~~~~~~~'
like a slug
i went so relax
i wasnt doin any practice for econs or maths
i rily hope someone can come over and give me a good slap

i dono when i will overcome all these.....
i just feel so so empty......

The MOMENTS of GOSSIPING & Backstabbing

My goodness!! First time in my life that i finally got the idea of gossiping.

Finally get to understand why there are people that like to gossip that much.

The feeling of non-stop gossiping was like a ...BLAST!

It din hurt much though. I mean when u r gossiping, at that very particular moment,

you don feel anything , at least for me i din feel anything.....bad.

Apparently it din affect my feeling of being guilty that i HAD backstabbed others.

I think i can say, i always do something that is contradicted to myself.

Looking at the fact that i once told myself that i won't backstab and i hate it ,

and that i am now enjoying the feeling of backstabbing people..

MY GOD!! I HATE MYSELF FOR BEING THAT!
I HATE MYSELF WHEN I DON FEEL GUILTY WHEN I BACKSTABBED THE OTHERS! SAYING BAD ABOUT THE OTHERS! AND HOW I MAKE THE SITUATION WORSE WHEN I EXAGGERATED! AND HOW I MADE THEM HATE THEM MORE!........
GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!!!!! I SHOULDN BE DOING THAT!!

YUP! I did participate in the gossiping session.

Should i consider myself as 'lucky' as i gradually DID feel bad gossiping

and backstabbing the others. Well.. after all the talking.. apparently..

i felt bad.. :) It seemed that i din feel bad when i WAS backstabbing the others

but i felt bad when i HAD backstabbed them. Hmmph..

It's like in the process of backstabbing, i felt that i deserved the talking.

I'm just expressing my anger to someone that had the same thoughts with me

about this particular person. It's like when the expression , the feeling came,

it exploded like a volcano. Everything blurted out, without second thoughts.

It became worse when this kind of feeling and anger had been

kept inside for a very very long time. When it is released, wow, nothing can stop it.

Especially to someone very emotional LIKE ME. sigh........

Well, think back of what i just did, i felt stupid. Felt stupid for my reckless.

I mean like no matter how angry i am or i was, i should not had complained.

I mean like this world is 'unpredictable'. Anything can happen.

Anyone can just turn against me and that might be the end of myself.

I should have just kept it in mind. or just complained to 'orange'.

And by the way . A truly elegant and well behaved person ,

a CIVILISED PERSON , will NOT spend time backstabbing the others.

Just like what my mom always say : 'Hou sum lar, don be so san ba lar.'

Of course, I din start all these nuisance.

Someone triggered that 'bom' and there's when the secrets were revealed.

Initially i backstabbed 'soda' the most as i hate her like shit !

When u hate 1 person so much u will desperately hope that the whole world will turn against her.

That's human.

That's me.

The uncivilised me.

sigh.

I know it deep in my heart why i hate her so much.

The feeling of hatred includes envy and lots of resentment.

I cant conceal it.

I'm stupid enough to reveal that feeling to two ' 8-month friends'.

Not that i don trust you guys or what.

Just that..Something just shouldn be said.

I dono how to explain.

I pitied my whole classmates.

Nobody was excluded from the talk.

I should write down the sequence in order to refresh my memory next time.

Initially, Ah KhYeng , NJay and Fiwee were studying in Seabeak.

Because earlier on we had a little conflict among ourselves,

because of some silly little disagreement,

it was solved of course.

As usual , my emotion caused me into trouble.

I was so angry that i couldn stop complaining during xxxxx class.

My idiotic loud clear voice made the others noticed that little confllict.

So

This very particular person went to ask KhYeng what had happened.

It seemed that when i was complaining,

the others had noticed that the conflict happened within our gang.

Well, it's quite confusing.

Because the truth is -

'even khyeng and Fiwee din know i was angry about them'.

i just simply made up some stupid excuse

that i was furious about my exclassmates..bla bla bla..

Anyway.

Khyeng said she din know there WAS a conflict among ourselves.

So

we took this topic out for discussion in Seabeak.

They told me 'this very particular person' came to ask them about the conflict,

and now khyeng and fiwee wanted to know what happened too.

Of course,

dear me had denied the truth.

I still proceeded with 'my exclassmate's' lie.

They believed.

Luckily.

Then they started to show the 'who does she think she is' face.

So i asked them what happened.

Then they started to complain about 'this very particular person'.

I was so surprised and shocked and happy when i heard their complaints.

Aiya.

Actually it's a bad compliment more than a complaint.

But i'm still happy that they had bad compliments about her.

That, is when i started my gossip-gossip thing.

That, is when all the feelings and emotion came across.

THAT, IS WHEN THE VOLCANO STARTED TO ERUPT.

YUP! That's right.

That very particular person is none other than our ' soda'.

I couldnt recall who's the next victim.

But i do remember who were the victims.

We mentioned 'Ella' , gossiped bout how bad she actually is,

how unreasonable she is...

Then we mentioned 'yao yao'.

Wow. Should take down my expression when we mentioned her.

She is 1 of the sinister people in my black list.

But not the top ones.

She's the bottom ones, the not so important ones.

The reason why she is on my black list is that

she always do things that are contradicted to herself. A bit lik me lar. A bit only.

She always complained how loud and annoying 'Toyo' talked in the class.

Didnt she ever notice that she actually talk AS LOUD AS 'Toyo'?

and yea, it's also very annoying sometimes.

I mean i can show restraint towards you why cant you guys show some respect to Toyo also.

I just dono why you guys HAVE TO pick on Toyo.

We talked about '咸蛋' .

Fiwee and khyeng had a ot of complaints about him.

I just listened and laughed.

Now only did i know about his sui yeh.

I had no comment about this guy since i had no connection to this guy AT ALL.

Then i mentioned 'Mindy'.

Well.

I had to admit that i dislike her ALOT.

I think she's brainless.

Funny right.

I dislike her because she's brainless.

I just dono why nowadays people don have self respect towards the others.

(I dono if i'm one of them too.)

I think i started to dislike her when she on her hp's music to the max.

It was a break because apparently the teacher was absent.

Few of us were staying in the class studying.

I was trying to study here and you on the other side played that freaking irritating song of yours.

How could i study with the song playing?

It's a terrible song if u ask me.

With all the drums and electronic guitars.

I dono if there's rhythm in it.

In addition she had to play such an irritating song to the MAX!!

my goodness!!

and like after a while,

she asked' sorry i din disturb u guys rite,can on the song?'

if u ask me i will definetely say

'my god! yes! it's annoying! off it!'

but before i could answer

someone said ' it's okay'

of course

i had nothing more to say.

i don think that's the 1st time she did that.

since then

i dislike her.

i din hate her

seriously

i don hate her

just dislike her.

We mentioned 'dou dou'.

I don dislike her or hate her.

Just feel that she has a weird attitude.

She likes to act everything her way.

You cant simply control her.

I will remember the way she said 'youre welcome' to the tcher when she was asked to leave the class because she kept talking.

She has the guts.

I don really remember but i think fiwee and khyeng don really like her.

In what way i don rmb.

Or maybe it wasnt even her that they had a problem with.

sigh..

i really cant rmb..

(Am i backstabbing now?)

We did mentioned a few more people.

But i couldnt recall.

Last but not least , (i call him 'THE TROLL') - the troll !

My goodness!! I hate him ! I hate him more than anything!

He's rude! He's weird! He's noisy! He's irritating!

Do u have to create such nuisance?! just to attract attention??

my goodness!!

Do u have to put your legs on the table whenever u like?

Do u have to talk and laugh whenever u like even the tcher is teaching?

Do u have to always disturb the class?

Do u have to create those annoying sound whenever u like?

Do u have to say shut up to whoever u like?

Do u have to be so rude to whoever u like?

Do u have to play your songs so loud in class?

oh ya..

almost forgot..

nasi lemak..

wow

she..

she's one .. quite extraordinary one..

a bit like kan's case.

i'm not goin to say her case here.

too sensitive..

just keep it to myself.

Whooh.

Guess what.

After writing this page,

i have a very, very bad conclusion.

I hate myself too.

From what i said,

i noticed how emotional i always am,

and how narrow-minded i am.

Like 'mindy'.

Do i have to dislike her so much?

I mean she just played the music 'a bit' louder right.

Exclude that she always acts so brainless.

Actually she din affect me SO MUCH right.

She aint so big influence after all.

And then 'yao yao'.

She's okay lar.

Do i have to really talk bad about her?

I don have right.

I can actually just sit there and keep my mouth shut right.

She ain that bad right.

I cant deny that she's annoying sometimes.

But that's just sometimes.

I should be considered lucky not to be hated so much like 'Toyo'.

Right.

Well.

But sometimes i just don like the way they treat 'Toyo'.

It's quite unfair to her also.

But when i think deeply,

i have to ask myself do i really care bout toyo?

or i'm just acting to be caring?

like what 'orange' said.

talked bout it as if u care

but actually u talk just for the sake of talking,

you don really care.

Oh my.

Seriously

i have to learn to change myself.

To be a more civilised person.

Have to learn how to 'open 1 eye and close the other 1'.

Have to learn how to smile more.

Have to learn how to control my emotions.

Hve to learn how to be more matured.

Have to learn how to be calm.

Just at this instance,

i feel that i'm a terrible person.

That day

'Whered you go'

I was going to sing 'whered you go'.
And when i sang the line 'whered you go' she answered me 'in the toilet'.
I burst into laughter.
I wasnt talking to you lar.. X)

中国2010年上海世界博览会

中国2010年上海世界博览会 ， Expo 2010 Shanghai China .
I, would give anything , ANYTHING , just to be on the spot.





男高音，技巧好到无话可说。虽然咬字有点不清，不过情有可原，毕竟人家没学过华语嘛。

Additional

KL:


Went to Pepper lunch
On my birthday

→the birthday girl X)

That's me X)



















→Birthday girl's friend aka MC

















The 2nd day of my birthday
Waiting for a bus to sunway pyramid
So hardworking right
Studying while waiting for the bus to come
........................
Eventually we gave up after 30 min of waiting and we walked there.
Not far. Just took us 30 min of walking. =.=











Ajisen ramen

















I dono when she took that but it's nice.















In the bus , going back hostel
and it's almost 11PM














Snowflake in SJ
Crowded like shit
We were considered lucky to find a seat






















Mine








Hers


I should try that next time.
I have to admit that it tastes good.
















Next morning , In kopitiam









My big love















IPOH :







During cny
Somewhere in JJ

Penang trip photos

while waiting for the dentist , we did this...

照片的质量很差，我承认，因为是用手机拍的。不是我不想用相机拍，而是因为我带了个没电相机去。=.=

failure...













another failure... T.T






















no doubt it's a failure......... :T.T:







In the car... going to gurney plaza :








the one on the right side looked like by2 =.=













say cheese... =)









































omg....















walao... double OMG !!!











yes, that's secret recipe's cake..























that's me.. alone in secret eating cake..
















Prangin mall :

偷拍成功...

自拍失败

讲要叫我自拍，结果...

still a failure......

dressing room










outside prangin.. waiting for her mom :







被发现



















not bad.. X)









































yierr..







































my face.. half gone..
































walao..



















no difference..but i looked cool n evil.. X)





















my bro said 1 thing when he saw this : "waa.. pig arh"
cute pig..

















scary pig..

















sad pig beside big nostrils


















what's with the face.....
















need not such big specs..
X)








Queensbay's KFC :







惨了，我好像有秃头现象 T.T












looked like 'golden fish man'

















show me your teeth..
X)































she's biting 山楂糖









outside queensbay.. :
























OMG..... LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE REALLY DIGGING YOUR NOSE , MC..

吹起我们的回忆.......

nostrum monumentum , our memory. ♥