My BIG Day

So, so, so, so, so,

Today's the big day.

My big day.

But also the day my mom suffered the most.

So thanks mom, for bringin me to this world,

And daddy too,

I LOVE YOU.

And thanks GOD, I LOVE YOU TOO GOD!

Big day, bad morning.

Very very bad.

Couz today's the day i'm havin my Law paper !!!!!!

Disaster! Spoil mood! Kill joy! Annoyin!!

Law was like....... WTH!! WAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!!

So damn tough!! I spent most of my time decidin which question to do rather than answerin the question!! So hard to analyse !!

Anyway..
Engyee was the 1st one that wished me birthday

And also the first one that gave me my present.

The day before my birthday,

around 10pm,

I couldn wait so I asked her to just give me my present.

She wrapped 3 presents.

1 was an umbrella, 1 was a cup, but the one that had the nicest wrappin was just a con.

I thoght that was it.

She asked me not to expect so much.

I admit it's a bit out of expectation

But i do like the presents.

In case in the future anyone of us forgot,

she said she gave me a cup couz mine's like goin to break anytime,

and I wanted an umbrella also.

So,

this mornin,

I received lots of hugs,

from Su Huei, Jiaway and Wei Lynn. ( not really much though )

After the paper,

Su Huei said she wanted to treat me a cup of starbucks,

as my present :)

Then I went back home.

Yup.

That's it.

Nothing else.

I tried to convince myself that today is not some special day.

Wat's so special.

Just a birthday.

So what.

I watched a whole afternoon of movies and went online.

Around 5pm,

Jiaway came.

She wanted to borrow our bathroom.

I was surprised to see she come with a flower.

I'm really touched. Seriously.

At least she really had the heart.

:)

I was quite annoyed because Engyee said she's havin dinner with NGG tonight.

She did ask me beore this that whether i want her to cancel the date and hav dinner with me.

I said no need.

If you really have the heart then in the first place you won agree to go out with him.

I rather celebrate alone.

Then around 6pm,

Ru wen and Serene went out for dinner.

Then around 7pm,

I changed to go out.

I still think I need a cake couz I want to make a wish.

So off i went,

alone

walkin in the streets

cursing NGG(just kiddin)

blamin Engyee.......

this and that

..

and I bought myself 1 slice of chocolate mousse cake from RT bakery shop.

This cake cost me RM 5!!!!!!!! Crazy asshole..

When I reached home,

it was ridiculously dark outside.

When i opened the door

it was locked.

I was like wth

who locked the inner door,

couz we usually don lock the inner door,

and now in the dark i have to try with all the keys to open the door.

I wanted to call Ru wen but I dono why at that particular moment,

I just din make that call.

The hp was already in my hand but I just din make the phone call.

When I was tryin to open the door,

all of a sudden the door is opened,

and guess what,

it's dark inside and someone's holdin a cake and someone's singin the bd song and soneone else sayin surprise!

So

there was a surprise party planned after all.

I was stunned

I was surprised

I was shocked

(Engyee said too bad I din cry)

I was touched.

I didn't know what kind of reaction should i give.

so i just kept sayin 'thanks' 'wow' ' i'm really very happy'

Of couz seriously i'm very very happy too.

Engyee bought me a chocolate mousse too.

A bigger one of couz.

I blew the candles in front of engyee's face!! XDDDDDDD

She forgot to ask me to turn to another direction to blow the cake.

She was holdin the cake and placed it in front of me and just asked me to blow the cndles

So without second thoughts I just blew the candles and all the fumes blew right to her face!!

I'm so sorry to her.

We all laughed.....

So this is me with my 19th birthday cake.

And so

I made a wish,

3 wishes actually.

1st one : I hope that I will make lots of frens this year.

2nd one : I hope I will be a happy person.

3rd one : Get full A's for A levels!

Amen.

That's me cuttin the cake.

ONLY DUMMY CUT THIS CAKE!

GOD BLESS YOU ! :)

Then later we went sky village.

The best part was when I was full like shit..

Chiat Ying suddenly called me and said we are goin to out eat later.

I was like..seriously??

Eventually i went out also..

So we decided to go wong kok.

They hav birthday promo but I din bring my ic out.

Brilliant me.

They were like wth Ng wenjie!!

But then later i suddenly said I want to drink beer.

So we changed venue again.

We walked few places outside sunway p.

Then I saw Ng Kai Jin.

I tell you.

It's really fake when I see her.

I screamed very loud 'Ng Kai Jin',

then she was like 'AHHHHHH!!!!!'

Then I was like ' AHHHH!' too.

Then she ran to me and we hugged.

So damn fake.

She's with her boyffie and fren.

We talked for a short little while.

Vivian was like wavin behind her askin me to leave XD

I bet her fren's doin the same thing oso behind my back.

Actu i felt bit regret not dressing out properly.

I was wearing a converse lose t shirt wid an old pink shorts and a pair of cotton on slippers.

Without make up.

Plus my hair was like shit that night.

Haih.

After so long din see 1st expression was spoilt.

Viv and Cy said kaijin's pretty.

Then eventually we went back to 'Forest Rain'.

And we changed seats like 100 times already.

Finally I said " Stop changin! We just sit here! "
W e ordered 1 jug of carlsberg draught.

It doesnt taste that well.

I drank like 5 glass.

Bunta drank the most.

Cy just had 2 sips i think.

Viv not bad. She got 3 glass for herself.

We took pictures and after sittin for like an hour we left.

I was gettin bit drunk and dizzy.

The worst thing was I texted Looi Han Yuan when I was not really conscious.

I felt bit regret after that.

Then we left Sunway bt we din go home.

We went to hav supper supper at WINGS.

They sang me a birthday song there couz viv wrote a message to me when she dedicated a song.

I dono wat's my feelin at that moment.

Cannot say it's happy but cannot said it's annoyin oso.

Then I had my kenangan terindah sung.

I think i could sing better than the guy.

I ordered a cup of tea which really calmed me down and took away the drunkenness..

But that tea cost me 10 bucks!! Doesnt even taste good.. :p

Then finally,

we sat till around 130am when pple really hav to close already.

Then Bunta took us back home.

So,

that's how I celebrated my 19th birthday.

Not bad though.

This is the cake viv and cy bought me.

No presents though.

MY COLOUR RED

I know this is so damn random but i really really love red.









P.S. today Melissa came to my hostel to stay overnight.

My own way

Guess WAD??
Finals are like 8 more days away and yet i doesn't seem to care much.
Damn. What the hell am i thinkin now??
Do i want or not the scholarship??
Urgh..

I'm currently losing my way and track..
I dono where to head to..
And obviously i'm not leadin a happy life recently..
Wid all those temptations and more and more temptations around me.......

I think all these confusion started when i started to come close wid xinyi and i came to know this guy named 'calvin sung'.
Honestly mentionin his name doesn't make me feel good at all.

Anyways..
It started when the number of times hangin out wid xinyi increased..
At first.. most of the nights i spent on fb and msn and skype more than my studies..
Gradually some nights i spent wid xinyi and we hanged out together till late at night..
Of course.. all these nights cut away my study time..

previous week we spent a night in a pub.. I drank like a crazy bitch..
Previous night she came and we spent whole night talkin bout our memories..

of course she's not the main reason i couldnt study..
facebook is 1 of the reasons..
urgh..
and the movies..
urgh..

then..
i came to know this guy called 'calvin sung'.. through looi han yuan..
it's a long story so i'm not goin to mention it here..
anyways..
this guy.. this nerd..
ughr..
he's so damn annoyin.. and guess wad.. i realised that oni like after a week we started chattin..

i'm always the one startin the convo..
he never said hi and all he ever said was' gtg . take care. bye. OR night.bye. '
ewww..
even like after 1 week we chatted wid each other he still couldn't be the 1st 1 to say hi..

okay...
for someone SO DAMN sensitive LIKE ME..
i really feel that there's soething wrong..

i think he's kinda like feelin uncomfortable around me...
and since he's such a nice guy to reject anyone..
so even wid all those uncomfort he still chooses to continue chattin wid me..
this possibility quite big..

and so..
i started to come out wid all these irrelevant thoughts..
it's simple..
no one wants to chat wid me bcouz i'm ugly..
i'm fat
i'm not pretty
i'm not attractin enough
i'm not a good fren
i'm boring
i hav attitude problems tht i don even notice
i said sth wrong but i din notice?????????????

WAD!!

urgh..

plus it hurts when i saw NG TENG SONG'S comment on "my beauty"..
"........... but this one ...................."

damn it!!
how could he say that.. even if he's jk.. it still hurts..
i hav so little confidence in myself..

i always think too much..

if i've been treatin calvin sung as a 'never been normal' fren..
i won even care if he moves to africa..

i always out myself to a predicament where between a male and a female.. there's only love..
no love = no frenship = annoyin
that's my thinkin all these time..

it's so damn wrong..

but yet this idea had sunked in my mind for such a long time that i don even notice..
out of no where this idea will pop out itself and start to fill my mind before i can say stop..

it's killin..
it's troublin me..

hence..
i've been thinkin lately and i came out wid this conclusion or so called solution.

Know WAD..
I'll start a new fresh me
That will never think bout the stupid idiotic boy-girl relationship anymor
Forever and ever between me and a male there will only be FRENSHIP
AND I MEAN IT!

Competing
Comparing
Worrying
really give me alot alot of trouble
all these come from the jealousy inside myself.
I hate this kinda feelin.

Damn! Why cant i live a happier life!!

So now..
I'll hold a new principle when i mix around :
" I would love to be your fren. So you want then you come. If not then grab your tail and leave! "

:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

so this calvin sung thing i think i'll let it go for now..
watever is the outcome.. I don care babe!

Thanks GOD for lettin me know this.. X)))))))))))))))))))))))
I'm so goin to live my own life!
Damn!!

Sort out my priorities MAN!!
Studies!!!!!!

Study brings money brings happiness to everyone (includin helpin pple X))))))))

still the same sayin :
"you want you come. Don want then leave "

OMG !! I'm so goin to love myself!!