This morning appeared to be a miracle to my parents as I woke up very early. I'm very ashamed to say this but everyday I wouldn't leave my bed unless it's noon. What could I do? I'm too lazy to flip the books or the newspapers. I had no assignments to rush or exams to deal with. All I wanted to do was more TV and more sleep and more food. This is a very bad sign. I'm not just rotting, I'm making lesser progress and I'm far behind everyone. So I forced myself to wake up early this morning for MCDONALD'S BREAKFAST.
Ive been doing abit of thinking this morning and I realised I'd lost myself because I was too concern for the others rather than myself. I'm too busy occupying myself with others' life style rather than myself. I've just realised I've been imitating other people's life style and forced myelf to become like them. And of course I failed so now I'm no where in the middle. Whenever I need to make decisions, I'll first ask myself what would she decide if it's her. But I shoud actually ask myself first right.
Haih. Now everyone found their aim and life purpose but i'm still here wandering around.
Yesterday mom gave me a few suggestions of what to do for my future.
She said alot. But actually I din really quite listen in what she said. Especially when you are in the car.
Then this morning all of a sudden I started asking myself what I actually want.
It's my life. It's my future.
I should really make a decision of my own.
Yes, it might turn out to be a wrong one or a 'not so good' decision but at least that's what i've chosen what I've decided. I will have no one to blame in the future and I will not regret ( well maybe abit but not much ) cause it's my decision. It's a plan I made myself.
So what if I fail. Not the end of the world.
It's time to stop dreaming.
It's time to say 'no' and 'yes'.
It's time to stop saying 'Whatever' and 'I dono'.
What have I learnt within these few months?
I have regretted for not scoring straight As in A-levels.
I don want to repeat the same mistakes.
What is past is past.
The days. The time. The opportunity.
It's time to wake up.
Time to wake up!
I will start learning from this day onwards.
I cannot already be a loser even when the war has not started yet.
God will help me through this.
I believe.
